The events of my last 24 hours have made me think a lot about attraction; specifically, attraction between two people whether romantic or platonic.
“Newton’s law of universal gravitation states that every point mass in the universe attracts every other point mass with a force that is directlyproportional to the product of their masses”
Last night, I had a long Facebook chat with a male friend of mine with whom I have some history. He and I have a natural repartee with each other, swapping innuendos and laughs. It’s very easy to like him, and he feels the same way about me. We are a couple years apart in age, but it never seems to make much difference. He and I have kissed a few times, but it never turned into anything serious because that’s just not the direction our relationship with each other has ever seemed to need to go. We’re happy being friends, but last night, our conversation reminded me of how big of a temptation he is in my life.
Because I have feelings for someone else. And I’m fairly certain there are feelings for me on his part as well. It gets confusing for me, because I always have that temptation in the back of my brain, taunting me, yet I know in my heart I don’t feel the things for my temptation that I do for that other person. If I were to give into the temptation, I would feel guilty for doing so, despite the fact the other person and I are not even anything beyond close friends at this point. Maybe I have too much of a conscience, but I know if I acted on my lust for my temptation, it wouldn’t be fair to anyone, let alone myself and how I feel.
Here’s the question: how can we be attracted to two people at once? It’s something I wonder about a lot, and especially in this situation. I am sexually attracted to the temptation, but I am emotionally (and okay, also sexually) attracted to the other party. These laws of attraction are hard to decipher, but I just can’t, in good conscience, act on the lust when I know that in the long run what I really want is the one I’m emotionally AND sexually attracted to. I want the one I have feelings for; true, deep feelings for. Maybe the reason I’m so tempted by that temptation is because I have never kissed the other. He’s a mystery to me in that area, and I want it so bad that I’m considering the one I HAVE kissed simply because it’s the one thing I want above anything else.
Needless to say, SOMETHING has gotta give. (Cue Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson.)
I spent the better part of this evening dining and drinking with one of my best friends from home, Nicole. She and I have known each other since we were five, and she’s one of the few people who can make me laugh so hard I spit things out of my mouth. We have stayed friends our whole lives despite going to different schools, and I can only attribute this to the laws of attraction. We were meant to be best friends, and nothing that has happened in our lives has been able to stop that from happening.
There is another law of attraction, separate from Newton’s, which Deepak Chopra and other New Age-y philosophers espouse:
You attract into your life whatever you think about.
This definition is much easier to understand and a little more applicable. Maybe the reason I am faced with such temptation is because the one thing I want from the person I have such deep feelings for is the one thing I haven’t been able to get but I CAN get from that temptation. It’s being placed in front of me because that’s what I want, but I’m not being specific enough about from whom I want it. Nicole is in my life, because I need a rock-solid friend on whom I can always rely, and that’s what I put into the universe many years ago even though I didn’t know it at the time.
Needless to say, the laws of attraction can’t always be explained, but they’re always affecting us whether we’re aware of it or not.