Every so often my love and desire for acting becomes intensified. When I see an incredible performance or a great film, all I want is to jump in front of a camera or up onto a stage and work. I feel inspired and totally motivated to produce something that might inspire someone else the way those films or performances inspired me.
I recently watched The Hours again. I hadn’t watched it in a few years, but I had goosebumps from the very first frame. Everything about that film is sublime perfection: the actors, the script, the score, the direction. Every detail is handled with such care and attention. I remember the first time I saw it, and as I walked out of the movie theatre with my mother, I said, “I want to do that. You never catch those women acting.” It’s a complete tour de force for female actresses and SO inspiring.
It’s not that I don’t love musical theatre, I do, but I’ve always had a passion for films. Sometimes, I think I know more about what’s going on in the film industry than I do about the musical theatre industry. I’m not saying that’s good or bad, I’m just saying that it makes me wonder where my priorities lie sometimes. Then again, I’ll have moments where all I want to do is musical theatre.
It’s very confusing being an artist sometimes. We’re controlled by impulses, and not always by sound logic. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, do you?
I don’t want to move to Los Angeles right now. I’m a New York person, but I can’t deny that I have had thoughts recently about visiting there now that I’m older, just to see what it’s like. I DO want to do film, and that is based in California, so at some point, I’m probably going to have to go out west if I want to get serious about the movie industry.
(sigh) It’s all a little up in the air, but that’s the nature of being an artist, isn’t it?