“Personally, I think if a woman hasn’t met the right man by the time she’s 24, she may be lucky.” –Deborah Kerr
For the second time in the last six months, I received a wedding invitation addressed only to me. This one was from my good friend Olivia who had a baby about a year and a half or so ago. It feels like her life is in the acceleration lane in comparison to mine, at least when it comes to the so-called “settling down” part. The thing is, I’m fine with being twenty-two and single. I don’t feel in any rush to run out and find a boyfriend or god forbid, a husband. There’s just too much in my life I want to do first.
I actually find getting married and starting a family at twenty-two strange. Back around a hundred or even fifty years ago, I would be considered strange for being twenty-two and unmarried, but in this day and age of more opportunities for women, I simply cannot fathom missing out on my own independence and having a life of my own before I even think about dedicating it to someone else. Am I selfish? I guess, but I choose to look at it as embracing having a LIFE, embracing my OWN life. I wouldn’t want a family right now, because I’d resent it. I’d resent my husband and child/children because I’d always feel like I settled, like I’d missed out on doing all the things I truly WANTED to do. Eventually, I WANT to get married, but only when I’m truly ready for it, and I know that at this point in my life, I’m not ready. And that’s not selfish, that’s smart.
“Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, ‘she doesn’t have what it takes;’ they will say, ‘women don’t have what it takes.’” — Clare Booth Luce
It probably sounds like I’m on an über-feminist rant against Olivia and any women who choose to get married before they’ve had any sort of career, and I don’t mean it to. As a woman, I fully support women having a right to choose what they want to do with their lives, since god knows that hasn’t always been the case. I think if Olivia is happy with her life, then more power to her. I support her choice fully; it’s not right for me, but she seems to be happy, so I think it must be the right one for her. I suppose time will tell, but I AM truly happy that she is happy.
Anyway, thus begins many years of being the single girl at weddings. But you know what? I might just be the one everyone is jealous of, because I’ll be having a good time…whether at the wedding or just in LIFE.