32 & 33: Wide My World, Narrow My Bed

“Personally, I think if a woman hasn’t met the right man by the time she’s 24, she may be lucky.” –Deborah Kerr

For the second time in the last six months, I received a wedding invitation addressed only to me.  This one was from my good friend Olivia who had a baby about a year and a half or so ago.  It feels like her life is in the acceleration lane in comparison to mine, at least when it comes to the so-called “settling down” part.  The thing is, I’m fine with being twenty-two and single.  I don’t feel in any rush to run out and find a boyfriend or god forbid, a husband.  There’s just too much in my life I want to do first.

I actually find getting married and starting a family at twenty-two strange.  Back around a hundred or even fifty years ago, I would be considered strange for being twenty-two and unmarried, but in this day and age of more opportunities for women, I simply cannot fathom missing out on my own independence and having a life of my own before I even think about dedicating it to someone else.  Am I selfish?  I guess, but I choose to look at it as embracing having a LIFE, embracing my OWN life.  I wouldn’t want a family right now, because I’d resent it.  I’d resent my husband and child/children because I’d always feel like I settled, like I’d missed out on doing all the things I truly WANTED to do.  Eventually, I WANT to get married, but only when I’m truly ready for it, and I know that at this point in my life, I’m not ready.  And that’s not selfish, that’s smart.

“Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed.  If I fail, no one will say, ‘she doesn’t have what it takes;’ they will say, ‘women don’t have what it takes.’” — Clare Booth Luce

It probably sounds like I’m on an über-feminist rant against Olivia and any women who choose to get married before they’ve had any sort of career, and I don’t mean it to.  As a woman, I fully support women having a right to choose what they want to do with their lives, since god knows that hasn’t always been the case.  I think if Olivia is happy with her life, then more power to her.  I support her choice fully; it’s not right for me, but she seems to be happy, so I think it must be the right one for her.  I suppose time will tell, but I AM truly happy that she is happy.

Anyway, thus begins many years of being the single girl at weddings.  But you know what?  I might just be the one everyone is jealous of, because I’ll be having a good time…whether at the wedding or just in LIFE.

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2 Comments

  1. I came across your post on tag surfer, and I just couldn’t resist leaving a comment. I’m not single any more (and I’m much older than you), but I once was that single girl at weddings. And truthfully, it’s the most fun. You get to drink cocktails and dance and meet new people. Weddings are truly fun.

    I know you weren’t just talking about weddings, you were talking about being a single woman in general while others are getting and being married. But I just have to say: enjoy single life. ESPECIALLY the weddings. They are just a blast.

    Reply

    1. Thanks! I’m actually starting to really look forward to going to some of the weddings I’ve been invited to thus far, especially because a lot of the people that will be in attendance are good friends of mine. I also do really like weddings, especially the receptions! 🙂 Mostly, I get frustrated by the pressure society is still putting on young women to find their happiness from being in a relationship or getting married. I believe in marriage, and I would like to get married one day, but I also think it’s important for young women (and men for that matter) to figure out who they are before they try to be committed to another person. But I’m fine with being single right now in my life. I’ve been having A LOT of fun!

      Reply

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