White Nights: An evening at the 2015 Diner en blanc NYC

I realize I have been gone for a while.  Turns out I have something called “friends,” which are people who share common interests and ask you to do things and spend time with them.  Who knew?!  I have had many, many ideas for posts and started writing many times only to abandon ship at the last minute because I let myself convince myself that they were all crap (which totally isn’t true).  It isn’t that I haven’t thought of this blog but rather I’ve been thinking so much I’ve blocked myself from actually writing anything!  I mean, I’m writing all the time, but none of it has ended up here.  Oops.  That changes NOW.

SO my dearest gal pal, Gretchen, has been on the waiting list for the New York City Diner en blanc for two years (!).  For those who don’t know, this exclusive, secret white dinner party started in France back in 1988 with just a few friends meeting for dinner in a park who decided to wear all white so they could identify each other.  Fast forward 27 years, and it has become an event, darlings, that is held worldwide.  New York City has only been holding theirs since 2011 (where just 1,200 people attended), but it has quickly become one of those super-exclusive, trendy NYC events people like my friend Gretchen are on years-long waiting lists for.  This year alone, 35,000 people were on the waiting list!

So last night, Gretchen and I met our team leader at Tribeca Park at 5:30 pm to find out where we were going (did I mention no one knows the location until literally the last possible minute?).

Gretchen & I (aka the #BlondeAmbitionTour) at Tribeca Park meeting location for the Diner en Blanc looking cute with no idea where we're about to go.

Gretchen & I (aka the #BlondeAmbitionTour) at Tribeca Park meeting location for the Diner en Blanc looking cute with no idea where we’re about to go.  How fab/mod/Wonka chic are Gretchen’s white shades?

Finally, we grabbed our table/chairs and picnic baskets and began the trek with a record-breaking 5,000 other chic-ly dressed DeB participants over to…PIER 26!  Now, I realize this sounds SUPER bougie (and you’d be right) and maybe WASP-y (coming from the very definition of White Anglo-Saxon Protestant-but-who-actually-doesn’t-have-a-country-club-membership), but there were people from literally all walks of life dressed in their finest white accouterments, and it was quite the sight to see this mass exodus of people in white walking towards the Hudson like it was the Promised Land of Milk & Honey.

Following our proverbial

Following our proverbial “Moses” across the “Red Sea” aka the West Side Hwy to Pier 26 in Tribeca

We arrived at Pier 26, set up our table next to a very lovely mother/daughter pair from the Upper East Side named Linda & Meryl respectively (and no, not THAT Meryl…though she always looks lovely in white as did THIS Meryl).  They really went for the beautiful table setting portion of the evening and were great company to dine alongside.

Our dinner companions, Linda & Meryl's table setting.  How cute!  And even though they are fancy Upper East Siders, they bought half of that at DOLLAR STORES. #werq

Our dinner companions, Linda & Meryl’s table setting. How cute! And even though they are fancy Upper East Siders, they bought half of that at DOLLAR STORES. #werq

Obviously, there are lots of Fancy Rules with a capital F about dress, decor, demeanor, etc.  Like how you can’t sit down until the “waving of the napkins,” which feels more like a moment from an Olympic Opening Ceremony or weird cult-y Scientology thing, because 5000 people are doing it all at once all while wearing white and maybe we’re about to sacrifice a bunch of virgins or something.

I would like you to know that despite looking clean and fresh, I am sweating.  Like, not cute girl sweating...but like my back could be the setting for Fern Gully because it is rainforest sweaty.

I would like you to know that despite looking clean and fresh, I am sweating. Like, not cute girl sweating…but like my back could be the setting for Fern Gully because it is rainforest sweaty.

Gretchen and I went for tapas-style dinner...yet we still had WAY too much food because #CARBediem

Gretchen and I went for tapas-style dinner…yet we still had WAY too much food because #CARBediem

How cute is Gretchen?!  And how tan...

How cute is Gretchen?! And how tan…

But mainly, this event is about style, flash mob-ery (which is a term I just made up; go with it), and dining outdoors (even when it’s 91 sweltering degrees) so you can be photographed for society blogs/magazines, the NY Times, etc.  It is a See And Be Seen Event, darlings.  It made me feel very akin to going to Truman Capote’s infamous black and white ball in 1966.

No, this isn't a Debutante Ball, it's just a LOT of ladies & gents at the Diner En Blanc keepin' it classy.

No, this isn’t a Debutante Ball, it’s just a LOT of ladies & gents at the Diner En Blanc keepin’ it classy.

This kween was werq-ing the dance floor with her cape.  SO many creative costumes!

This kween was werq-ing the dance floor with her cape. SO many creative costumes!  I felt like I was at a weird garden party/drag queen pageant hybrid…so the best party ever, basically.

The funny/sad thing is Gretchen started out around my coloring earlier in the year, but HELLO SUMMER TAN. I am forever the #porcelainprincess.

The funny/sad thing is Gretchen started out around my coloring earlier in the year, but HELLO SUMMER TAN. I am forever the #porcelainprincess.

Also, Gretchen and I learned very quickly that any cute, stylish man was either there with a girlfriend/wife or boyfriend/husband, so no chance of any meet-cutes. Quel dommage.

All in all, we had a great time and were glad to add the Diner en blanc to our rotation of fun, fabulous #BlondeAmbitionTour events for the year (Up next?  Probably the Grease-themed rollerdisco party in Brooklyn).

Merci, Diner en blanc! Vous étiez merveilleux!

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