Things I Do While Waiting On My Seamless Delivery to Arrive

  • Practice pirouettes in the living room in my socks, especially on the left, because my left pirouettes are atrocious.
  • Pour myself a glass of wine, which I drink in between pirouettes.
  •  Take a shower, frantically sticking my head out from behind the curtain every two minutes to listen for the buzzer.
  • Eat a handful of Reese’s Pieces.
  • Become wayyyyyy too involved in 5-10 minutes of a Say Yes to the Dress marathon.
  •  Immediately pin 5 different wedding dresses to my secret wedding board on Pinterest (which I will forever deny having if you ever ask me because how dare you suggest I am THAT Girl™).
  • Obsessively look out the window for the delivery man during a commercial break.
  • Swiffer living room and kitchen floors.
  • Track my order on Seamless. – “Still cooking.” Damn.
  • Pour another glass of wine.
  • Eat a handful of kettle cooked potato chips.
  • Flip to one of the fifty bajillion showings of Shawshank Redemption and ask why Morgan Freeman doesn’t also have fifty bajillion Oscars instead of just one.
  • Obsessively look out the window again like a nervous heroine in a late 70s/early 80s horror movie.

    kinogo.net

    Looking out windows for Seamless and Michael Myers since 1978

  • Attempt another left en dehor pirouette.  Not on fleek.
  • Hate myself for five seconds for using the term “on fleek.”
  •  Eat a spoonful of 1% cottage cheese.
  • Switch over to Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire just as Movie Dumbledore slams Harry against a wall like a WWE wrestler and yells in his face, “HARRYDIDYAPUTYOURNAMEINTOTHEGOBLETOFFIRRRRE?!?!?!”
  • “He asked CALMLY,” I say pointedly to the TV, rolling my eyes.

    dumbledore

    Did no one read the book before shooting that scene?  Accio done with your nonsense, Steve Kloves.

  • Track my order on Seamless. – “Out for delivery.” YAAAAS QUEEN!
  • Favorite and retweet @lin_manuel about 6 times
  • Donate $16 to Hillary’s campaign
  • Obsessively look out the window again.  Is that a clown?
  • Do a Duolingo French lesson on food.  J’ai faim.  Je voudrais un sandwich.
  • “Like” two different girlfriends’ engagement announcements on Facebook. Ugh. Je voudrais un boyfriend.

    slide_8

    Literally the only French you need. Stop being greedy, Francois! Crossing YOU off le boyfriend list, merci beaucoup.

  • Laugh at Snapchat video sent by my friend Kevin
  • Attempt a Snapchat recorded pirouette video to send back to Kevin.  #fail
  • Eat another handful of Reese’s Pieces.
  • Make mental note to rewatch E.T. the Extraterrestrial soon.
  • Make another mental note to phone home.
  • Instagram my third glass of wine with the Valencia filter and a caption pretentiously quoting a Transcendentalist author. #basic
  • Get nervous/excited when the buzzer rings like I’m going on a first date…except if I were, I wouldn’t have ordered Seamless
  • Mentally play the Super Mario End of Level Theme Music in my head as I receive my bag of food from the delivery guy.
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Fancy Footwork

Nothing puts me in a better mood than watching an old, movie musical, especially one starring either Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly (whom George Balanchine himself called them two of the best dancers he’d ever seen).  This particular clip comes from Broadway Melody of 1940 and features a lot of fancy footwork from Astaire and tap legend Eleanor Powell.  It doesn’t get much better than this, kids.